Augusta and her friends listening to Mrs. Edgren outside the Edgren School
In April 1846, Augusta’s friend Lotten writes to Augusta about a ball she and Erica Degermann (Lotten’s spelling) has been invited to. Erika was one of Augusta’s friends in Stockholm.
The picture is slowly developing of the group of friends Augusta had during her teenage years in Stockholm.
They were wealthy but not necessarily belonging to the noble class.
Their parents invested in them so that they might marry well – that is, moving up in society or at least have a comfortable life.
Several came from other parts of Sweden as Stockholm was the optimal place to study and make connections.
They were boarding with relatives, upper-class widows, or teachers in boarding schools.
This week, I have found Erika Degerman. Who was she?
Christina Erika Degerman was born on 5 October 1829.
Erika’s parents. Like many parents, they had great hopes for their daughters. They also had the means to send them to Stockholm to get a good education.
She was the daughter of Erik Degerman (1782-1867) and Fredrika Dorotea Lindgren. Erik Degerman had, at the age of 25, inherited the ownership and management of Degerfors ironworks close to Piteå in northern Sweden. Presumably, Erika was boarding in Stockholm in order to get an education and socialize, just like Augusta. We don’t know where she lived. All we know is that she received her first communion in 1846 in Klara church, so she must have resided in that parish. Maybe she also went to Mrs. Edgren’s school?
Erika’s husband, Carl Helmer Hampus Mörner.
In 1850, Erika married Carl Helmer Hampus Mörner, a nobleman and lieutenant, in her hometown of Piteå. They became parents of two daughters and three sons, but had only 2 granddaughters. One of those, Dagmar Salén, became the first Swedish woman to win an Olympic medal in sailing. Together with her husband, Sven Salén, they took bronze in the 1936 Summer Olympics.
There seems to be an interesting family saga to be discovered for each of Augusta’s school friends!
The view of Klara Church from the location of Mrs Edgren’s schoolAdele with her two daughters in 1860. Adele is 29 years old in the picture.
It’s already August, but what a fun summer Kerstin and I have had. First, we visited places where our great-great-grandmother, Augusta Söderholm, had played as a kid or visited as a young woman, then we spent a night on a steam-engine ship, and then we traveled by both steam ships and steam trains. Back in Stockholm, we visited the city archives to find out more about Augusta’s school in Stockholm. Finally, one of the highlights of the summer was our participation in the activities at Torekällberget, a living-history museum in Södertälje. We now have lots of materials for future blogs!
But right now, I am on a mission to find Augusta’s school friends. I have slowly been going through the correspondence between Augusta and her best friend, Lotten Westman, and trying to put faces to the names mentioned.
“Stockholm 16 April 1846
My own Augusta!
Thank you, thank you, for your latest and, for so long, an anticipated letter which was dearly received.
… Yesterday, I was visiting Mademoiselle Frigel and she always asks about you and she sent you her warmest regards. Adèle Peyron also sent you lots of greetings. Erica Degermann and I are invited to Mademoiselle Frigel on a graduation ball on Tuesday…”
Adèle Peyron
So, who was her friend, Adèle Peyron (or Peijron)?
Census record in 1843. Girls boarding with Mrs Edgren, including Augusta and Adele.
Her full name was Adèlaide Virginia Peyron and she was born 13 June 1831 in Stockholm – so she was 4 years younger than Augusta. Adèle, Augusta, and 3 other girls all boarded with their teacher, Mrs. Edgren, and her husband in their house on Stora Wattugränd 12 in Stockholm. Kerstin and I visited the place where their house once stood, just behind Klara Church. Now it is an office building clad in steel.
Did the girls share beds? It was very common in the 1800s. It was also a way to keep warm in the winter. I assume they would have become very close, just like sisters.
So what happened to Adèle?
She married chamberlain Gabriel Gerhard Sigge Sparre af Rossvik in 1853 and had 2 sons and 2 daughters. But her life was marred by a tragedy.
“Sad Things Still Happen”
That is the title and the first words of a ballad we sang in Sweden as kids. It tells the sad love story of the nobleman and lieutenant, Sixten Sparre (who was already married and had 2 children), and a famous Danish circus artist, Elvira Madigan. Desperately in love, they decided to run away to Denmark. Having no means to support themselves and no one coming to their rescue, they then planned to commit suicide – a romantic last picnic before Sixten shot Elvira and then himself.
Movie poster for the film Elvira Madigan, 1967.
The news were all over the papers in the summer of 1889. And the ballad about Elvira Madigan became famous throughout Sweden through “Skilling Prints” – inexpensive prints of song texts. And 100 years later, the ballad is still famous. Not to mention an award-winning movie made in 1967.
Adèle Peyron and Sixten Sparre
Augusta’s friend, Adèle, was Sixten’s mother.
In 1844, when Adèle and Augusta were both listed as living in the Edgren household, Adèle was only 12 years old. They were learning German and French together, doing their embroideries, and going to children’s balls. She could never have imagined the events that were going to affect her family, nor the shock and sorrow she would experience on receiving the news about her son.
While searching for Adèle, I landed on another blog. The blog is written by Adèle’s great-great-granddaughter, Kathinka Lindhe. She writes about Adèle and about a book she has published. And there is a picture of Adèle! I find it fascinating that we are both blogging about our great-great-grandmothers – who were best friends!
I am reading Lotten Westman’s letter to Augusta, dated 15 April 1846. It is full of gossip about who is engaged to whom, who came to visit, and who talked about whom. There are so many names mentioned – who were they?
“Do you know, I find Augusta Sjöstedt just as boring now as when she sat in school with open mouth and read German verses, do you remember that? And how her legs were always in my way? But it was a fun time! “
Jacob Sjöstedt (1845 Stockholm census)
So who was Augusta Sjöstedt? I easily find her – Augusta Amalia Jakobina Sjöstedt, born 16 July 1829 and, in 1850, married to Adam Henrik Carlheim-Gyllensköld. Her parents were Jacob Sjöstedt (b. 1785) and Sofia Ulrika Richnau (b. 1800).
Jacob Sjöstedt was a wealthy brewer in Stockholm, just like Lotten’s father.
I check out the city census of 1845 and find him and his wife, children, and servants listed in his neat handwriting.
At the bottom of the page, there is also a paragraph about a girl living with them:
“In addition, Demoiselle Elisabeth Lowisa Wallroth, born 29 April 1827, is staying with us as a traveler during the winter months. She is a resident of her father’s household, the estate owner and merchant Carl Johan Wallroth in Philipstad.”
Searching on Elisabeth Lowisa (or Louisa) Wallroth is like hitting the jackpot. Those cherries line up and I can imagine Google adding the sound effects. Did she became famous later in life???
In 1909 when, for the first time, the Nobel Prize in literature was awarded to a woman, the recipient, in her acceptance speech, mentioned her mother:
“Deep within me, however, was a wondrous joy at receiving this Prize, and I tried to dispel my anxiety by thinking of those who would rejoice at my good fortune. There were my good friends, my brothers and sisters and, first and foremost, my old mother who, sitting back home, was happy to have lived to see this day.”
Selma Lagerlöf on a 20 SEK bill
The recipient was Selma Lagerlöf and her mother was Elisabeth Louisa Lagerlöf, born Wallroth, the girl who was living with the family of Augusta Sjöstedt, who in turn was the girl Lotten Westman had described as pretty boring.
So it is most likely that all these girls went to the same school and had Mrs Edgren as a teacher: our Augusta, Lotten Westman, Augusta Sjöstedt, and Louisa Wallroth.
And our Augusta and Augusta Sjöstedt were in the same confirmation class according to the records of first communion in the Jacob parish in Stockholm.
The next girl I need to find is Dora from Nora. I don’t even know where to start. My best guess is to start with wealthy families in the town of Nora in the 1840s.
Augusta writes a letter to her friend Charlotta (“Lotten”). Lotten lives in Stockholm and Augusta has returned home to Loddby from Stockholm.
Loddby, 24 January 1847
…How many times I’m with you in mind, how many, many times I wish I had you here in my rooms, how many afternoons when the sun is setting and I sit alone in the corner of my couch do I imagine you sitting in the other corner and how we heartfully exchange our thoughts. I must be very fond of you to think of you so often. I have not seen a single soul since I came home because I have not been outside the door except for on New Year’s Day, when I attended the ball in the city {Norrköping} and had a royally boring time….
There are several letters between Augusta and Lotten in the family archives. Augusta writes about how she misses her friends in Stockholm: Emelie Breitholtz, Marina Ribbing, and Albertine Osbeck, born Schubert and related to Augusta. Maybe they all attended the same private school for girls?
A couple of weeks ago, Kerstin and I visited the Stockholm city archives – Stadsarkivet – to learn more about the education of girls in Stockholm in the 1840s. We know that Augusta studied in Stockholm from 1842 to around 1846 and boarded with a family. But what school did she attend? In the 1840s, there were few schools for girls. Maybe the city archives would have some information.
The archivist is very helpful and suggests that we start with the school archives and search for girl academies. So we do, and find only two schools. The first private school for girls in Stockholm was Wallinska Skolan which opened in 1831. It was located in the Old Town. The other school was Bjurströmska Pensionen, competing for the title of the most exclusive girls’ school in Stockholm. In the middle of the 1840’s the school was taken over by a German educator, Ms Sophie Antoinette Kock, and the school was renamed Kockska Pensionen. In 1852 it again changed name with new leadership to Posseska Pensionen and in 1855 it became Hammarstedtska Skolan.
We find the addresses of the schools but not much else. We will need to continue the research. But what about her friend Lotten? Would her history give us any clues?
I google and I search in archives. I find that Lotten’s full name is Charlotta Sophia Ulrika Westman, her birth date is the 15 November 1827, and her address in 1845. She and her sister are living with a miss Carin Hellberg, their care taker, in an appartment at the corner of Klara Norra Kyrkogata and Mäster Samuelsgatan. Today, the building is gone but it would have been located right behind Åhlens department store.
Where were their parents living? I continue my church-archive search and find Lotten’s sister, Clara Carolina Dorothea Westman, born 16 February 1831. She was baptized in Storkyrkan in Old Town. And by searching the baptismal records for this parish, I find that she was baptized by the famous bishop of Stockholm, J.O. Wallin, and that her parents were Isak Ulrik Abrahamson Westman, born in 1798, and his wife Eva Charlotta Plagemann, born in 1807. I also find that Lotten and Clara had a younger brother, Carl Abraham Ulrik Westman, born 2 February 1833 and also baptized in the same parish. But then the trail ends unless I am willing to read page up and page down of handwritten church records in order to find any of their names in records of death or departure to other parishes. But in the genealogy site Geni, I find the parents listed with their birth and death dates. Lotten’s father died at age 36 and her mother at age 32. That explains why the two orphan girls were living with Miss Hellberg.
And then I find her on another geneology site. In 1857, she married and officer,Theodor Hugo Malcolm Abraham Wennerholm, had 6 children, and lived to be 69 years old. But I also learn more about the Westman family. The Westman family was large and spanned many generations of brewers in Stockholm. The family became very wealthy. Maybe Lotten was sent to an exclusive school in order to get the best education and secure a good husband?
Augusta’s Journey continues. Sometimes the research is tedious, but it always leads to new discoveries and new knowledge.
“Rowed over to Loddby and Augusta came back with me to Krusenhof. In the evening, Tante and August came over.” 31 May, 1848
Erik Hjort was 16 years old when he wrote those lines in his diary. Augusta lived at Loddby and Erik and his siblings, Aurore, Nanna, and Axel lived across a small bay at Krusenhof.
I can see Erik and Augusta in the rowboat in the middle of the bay. Erik is by the oars; Augusta is sitting on the stern thwart. The day is calm and you can hear their voices and laughter even though they are still far away. What did they talk about?
Erik’s diaries give glimpses of the daily life at Krusenhof – going to town (Norrköping), to church (Kvillinge Parish), out riding, rowing, walking, driving the carriage, and visiting friends.
Would he and Augusta have written diary entries on the same days and mentioned each other?
Two weeks ago I got copies of 7 pages from his diaries during 1848-1849. Unfortunately, Augusta summarized 1848 in one sentence:
“I spent the winter and summer of 1848 at home in deepest solitude, sometimes interrupted by a visit from and to Krusenhof.”
In January 1849, Augusta went to Stockholm with her relative, Hanna Schubert, and didn’t return until July. They spent the whole winter and spring enjoying the social life in Stockholm – summarized in just one short paragraph. I am sure she wrote lots of letters to friends instead. The rest of the year also just got a short paragraph – she was mostly living at Loddby, with the exception of a few weeks visiting the Schubert family at Fullerstad and a few days visiting Hjorts at Krusenhof.
But what did Erik write? He visited Augusta almost every other day, and Augusta also visited Krusenhof and spent a lot of time with Erik’s older sister Nanna. In the diary, he sometimes uses nicknames for Augusta: Gufsa and Guss. Here is a sample of his writings from July 1848:
7th. Gufsa came over with Nanna. In the evening, we went to a wedding in Björnwiken and I accompanied Augusta home to Loddby and then got home at 2 in the morning.
11th. Dressed in Nanna’s clothes, rode to Loddby where Augusta was home alone until the evening when the others came home.
27th. In the morning, was in town for an errand. In the afternoon, with Nanna to Loddby for Guss’ birthday.
Now, did any other of their friends or family members write diaries as well? And if so, how would one find them?
At this time last year, Kerstin and I hatched the idea of making the same trip through Germany that our great-great-grandmother Augusta had made in 1847, and which she described in her diary. We thought it would be an interesting vacation trip. Then we realized that we needed to find out more about Augusta and her life in Sweden in the mid-1800s. We also wanted to share what we found, and we named the project Augusta’s Journey. And what a fun journey it has been!
Where has Augusta’s Journey taken us this last year?
Over the last year, Augusta’s Journey has evolved into a multifaceted research project – there are just so many topics that are interesting. In addition, we decided to make clothes that Augusta would have worn, and travel by similar means, following her travels described in her diary. And yes, she didn’t only travel to Germany, but made many trips throughout Sweden.
Kerstin and Sara
The highlight so far was our journey on Göta Canal where we, dressed in 1850s clothing, spent 4 days on M/S Juno, the world’s oldest registered cruise ship, making the same journey that Augusta described in her diary.
But the most positive outcome of our journey has been the new friends we have made over the year. And the positive comments from all who have been following our journey! Augusta’s family has certainly grown. So thank you for all kind support and interest!
What is next?
We thought that the journey through Germany, dressed in clothing of the time, might be nice to make this fall. But that would also mean making new clothes for colder weather. And travelling by train and river boats would necessitate some smart solutions to “luggage”. Whatever we bring, we will have to carry with us, and we would not have the same luxury as Augusta had – hiring local servants. The hatboxes would definitely have to be left behind (even though they were very good laptop bags on the Göta Canal cruise).
Lejdenfrost’s business contact: AP Rehder
Kerstin has already started researching Lübeck – our starting point in Germany. Gustaf Lejdenfrost, Augusta’s brother-in-law, had a business contact in Lübeck with the name of August Peter (AP) Rehder. In the summer of 1847, Augusta and her mother were invited to travel with Lejdenfrost to Lübeck and meet the family Rehder. This would also be a great opportunity for Augusta and her mother to do a sightseeing trip to Berlin, Dresden, Potsdam, Prague, Leipzig, and Hamburg.
Augusta’s Travel Journal in Germany
At 6 am on the 20th of June, 1847, Augusta, her mother, and Lejdenfrost arrived by boat to Travemünde and had breakfast “together with some members of the lovely Rehder family who had come to meet us.” After some sightseeing, they all traveled to Lübeck.
“For dinner we were invited to Rehders and we spent the afternoon in a beautiful garden outside the city, where there was music and where we played games like ‘last couple out’, ‘one hits the third’ and others.”
Wouldn’t it be nice to find out more about the Rehder family? Who were they, and what happened to the family. Are there still descendants somewhere in the world, or some still in Lübeck who we could visit?
This week, Kerstin handed me the baton – she was already digging into the history of the Tesdorpf family in Lübeck and their relationship to Augusta’s friend Mina Tesdorpf. But she had found a hotel that might be Rehders’ old house – there was just some issues with the street numbers …
Hotel Anno 1216
Alfstrasse 38
“Behind the façade of one of the oldest brick buildings of Lübeck is a small, exclusive hotel like no other…” reads the welcome page of Hotel Anno 1216. The history of the house is indeed interesting “The historic building stands on the corner of Alfstrasse and An der Untertrave, thus occupying an important strategic position within the original street network of the newly founded settlement of traders. The first written reference to the house dates back to 1305.”
This is where my sleuthing starts. Of course there is a book one can buy about this house (Alfstrasse 38), but there are always online archives that will provide the same information. After some digging, I find the owner list of this house going back to 1305. And yes, AP Rehder bought the house in 1853 and sold it in 1863.
So, when Augusta visited in 1847, Rehder had not yet bought Alfstrasse 38, but lived right across the street from Hotel Anno 1216, at the opposite corner of Alfstrasse and An der Untertrave (today Alfstrasse 41).
The issue with the street numbers can quickly be resolved. The street numbers changed over the years but those on a city map from 1840 match Rehder’s addresses in the digitally available address books of inhabitants of Lübeck at the time.
Carolina Mathilde Rehder
Besides AP Rehder, his daughter Mathilde is mentioned by name. She became a good friend to Augusta, and when, after 4 weeks in Germany, they returned to Sweden, Mathilde and her father came along. Mathilde spent a couple of weeks with Augusta, first in Stockholm and then at her home, Loddby. Augusta was 20 years old and Mathilde was 19 and they became best friends. I wonder if Mathilde also kept a journal?
“In Stockholm we spent a few days to show Mathilda its beautiful surroundings and places that could be worth seeing. She found our capital, if not magnificent or spectacular – characteristics that we ourselves must admit it does not possess – at least, as she expressed, “sehr gemüthlich”, and our park, Djurgården, won her undivided approval.
It does not take many days to take in all of Stockholm’s “Sehenswürdigkeiten” and on the 3rd day after our arrival, we traveled with Raketen and Captain Sandberg to Norrköping.
Mathilda spent two weeks at Loddby; then her father came to pick her up and Lejdenfrost and I accompanied them to Norsholm, where we bade them farewell after a long and nice time together.”
So what happened to 19-year old Mathilde?
She married Cay Dietrich Lienau and had several children, the exact number we don’t know. Three children can be found on various genealogy sites: Paul Adolph Wilhelm (b. 1855), Cay Dietrich (b. 1867) and Louise “Lizzie” (b. 1869).
Louise emigrated to USA. She was married to Wilhelm Grojitzki who was also born in Germany. They settled in Michigan and had 3 children:
Amand Clara, born in 1889, married William Fredrick Lienau and had 5 children,
Clara Louise, born in 1891, married George H. Lozer, and
Alma Rowena, born in 1904, married Theodore John Kratt and had 2 children
So at least in the US, someone can call Mathilde his or her great-great-grandmother, just like Augusta was ours.
Having left Stockholm, we were now cruising on Lake Mälaren and taking a little detour to view Drottningholm, the UNESCO world heritage site and home of the royal family.
Drottningholm
From there, we passed the island of Ekerö where Augusta spent a memorable Saturday in June, 1851 with three famous Swedish politicians and leaders: Gustaf Lallerstedt, A. Oscar Wallenberg, and August Sohlman.
“The Saturday after my arrival we were invited by Lallerstedt to his property, Stafsund. At 8 o’clock in the morning, we traveled by the steamboat Westmanland, whose captain was a heartily nice fellow. In the middle of Mälaren, we were met by, and transferred to, another boat.
The day was cloudy, but the weather in general was impeccable.
The corps de logis at Stafsund is made of stone, built during the time of Charles XII. The innumerable rooms are dark and gloomy and furnished in an unpleasant, old-fashioned way.
The surroundings are indescribably beautiful and offer the most diverse views of Mälaren. It is all so beautiful; we spent a rather enjoyable day outdoors and were treated to a grand dinner consisting of six dishes of food and a variety of wines. In the evening, when we were to return to Stockholm by steamboat, we were late and had to ride in a hay wagon back to Kungsholmen. With us were Wallenberg and a Master Sohlman, who is a member of Bore and who was unreasonably enthusiastic regarding Denmark, where he had joined the Danes in their fight [against the German separatists in the war of 1848].”
Back to Juno. We were now heading towards Södertälje, where we would enter the largest lock in all of the Nordic countries. This lock would lead us back to the Baltic Sea. The first lock was built here between 1806 and 1809, enabling ships from Lake Mälaren to reach the Baltic Sea through this route.
The next stop, and first excursion, was in the little town of Trosa.
Trosa
Unfortunately, it had started to rain. Instead of parasols, Kerstin and I dug out umbrellas from our carpet bags and braved the ever increasing rain. But, of course, we had to experience walking in rain in our long dresses and silk bonnets! The little, old, wood houses lining the canal through Trosa makes for a picturesque walk and we convinced ourselves that this kind of weather was great for photography. It was not great for our fabric shoes and neither for the hems of our dresses.
We certainly made sure not to be late getting back to Juno (didn’t want to risk having to ride in a hay wagon to Juno’s next stop).
Back again on Juno, we had to change into the next set of dresses we had brought, and hung all the wet clothes to dry in our little cabin. As it was time for dinner, we just followed the advice: “Tradition has it that the guests change to something a bit more elegant for dinner.”The dinner, by the way, was in line with Augusta’s description – it was grand!
After dinner, the rain subsided and the clouds were dissipating. Now the cruise was taking us through the archipelago south of Trosa, stunning with sparse vegetation and smooth cliffs illuminated by the setting sun. In contrast, the hazy lights of the industrial buildings in Oxelösund – discernible in the distance – painted a surreal picture.
Evening lights
And soon, it was dark; sea and sky were merging into a dark blue color. Time for bed. We got our bunk beds ready but left the cabin door ajar so we could still see the dark blue sky between our swaying, wet dresses.
Two weeks ago, Kerstin and I visited the city museum in Norrköping. One special exhibition just happened to feature historical buildings threatened to be demolished. And when we walked in, we happened upon a seminar about conserving Sweden’s cultural heritage. Both the exhibition and the talk included Krusenhof, the estate where Augusta’s best friends and neighbors had lived.
Sadly, the Krusenhof mansion, orangery, pavilion, and several other buildings on the property are listed as threatened (Swedish: hotad) to be demolished. However, these buildings only date from the turn of the century and had already replaced the buildings that were present during Augusta’s time. So, what could we still see that was there during Augusta’s time? Trees? Would there still be an orchard?
The next morning, we set off to visit Krusenhof. We tried to envision arriving in a carriage under the tall poplars that Augusta had described as nodding a welcome to the visitor. And yes, there were tall poplars shading a carpet of blue Scilla.
We took a walk down some overgrown terraces to what would have been a lawn. And there stood a single, very old tree. From the dry leaves on the ground, we guessed that it was a linden tree.
A solitary linden tree on the lawn of Krusenhof
On the other side of the lawn was a beautiful little forest with some blue and purple anemones and violets. There was also an ancient, giant oak tree.
And then we came upon the forgotten orchard. The trees were untrimmed and covered with lichens, but the branches had plenty of little leaf buds. We took a little branch with a bud and 2 weeks later it was blooming – a memory of Krusenhof!
“The country side is so wonderful at this time of the year.”
Augusta described her country surroundings in the spring – the blue sky, the song of the larch, the warmth of the sun – and Kerstin and I decided that after a winter of research, we should do an outing to Augusta’s home.
Loddby as it might have looked in 1847. Ink drawing by Sara Azzam.
Augusta lived at Loddby, an estate located just outside Norrköping. Her brother-in-law, Gustaf Lejdenfrost, was a textile-mill industrialist who had bought the estate in 1832. Our first stop will be Loddby and its surroundings.
Lejdenfrost’s textile manufacturing was in Norrköping, so the next stop will be the old industrial sites and the city museum.
And then there is Krusenhof where Augusta’s best friends lived. We will visit and see what is left of what might have been there in the 1840’s. The house has been rebuilt and maybe only some very old oak trees might still be there. But, we will at least get the feeling of a country walk in spring time.
Further away, close to Söderköping, is where Augusta’s cousins, the Schubert family, lived and where Augusta met her future husband. It will be exciting to see the estate and meet the present owners.
Fullerstad
We will also visit Åtvidaberg and find out more about Augusta’s best friends, the family Hjort. And that is one of the most rewarding aspects of Augusta’s Journey so far – new Facebook friends, old friends, and family members who share our excitement about the journey! We are really looking forward to exchanging information about Augusta and her friends with others who have a similar interests and have other archives.
Passing Through a Forest in Winter Oil Painting by Louis Apol
Loddby, 2 September 1850
This week we have been at Krusenhof and said goodbye to Eric. Our trips to this, my second childhood home, have begun again ever since my friends at Krusenhof [the family Hjort] have once more gathered in their home. How the road is dear to me and how well I know every single rock and every bush; they are all my acquaintances and each could tell me of events from the golden days. The large poplars by the gate still nod a friendly welcome just as they did 14 years ago when they, for the first time, greeted my 9-year-old self.
Even now, I receive the same friendly welcome at my entrance into the great hall with the old clock in the back and I am still met with the same heartfelt welcome. Nothing has changed, except that the former children have now grown up; that one or another frosty night has touched the roses that – 14 years ago – were mere buds on the path of life – some of them have withered and fallen off; and that the shimmer of light that surrounded those present and those forthcoming, for each year has faded and disappeared. But as a whole, all is still familiar. Every year, the large cherry tree still offers us its abundance of cherries. The small benches on the hill still offer us shade, cool, and rest. The small sofa in study, where we in the dim light spent so many an autumn evening in talk and laughter, still invites more of the same pleasures. My God! How long may it remain so!
Loddby, 9 September 1850
Yesterday was a melancholic day, one of those gray, cold, autumn days that so greatly affects one’s spirits. A day when one would like to have wings to fly far, far away, not knowing where to, but to escape the memory of all the bitter and sad moments in one’s life that during such moments feels overwhelming and which, one at a time, march past the eye of the soul.
One of those days when one thinks that the curtain concealing the future is more impenetrable than usual, when it hangs so dark, so heavy, and so cold, in front of events that one envisions as even gloomier and darker, and when one feels cheated of one’s illusions, cheated of the dream of one’s life. And all these gloomy reflections, they arose yesterday from the notification that the scene of my childhood games, the dear old Krusenhof, was sold.
And the friends?
They bid farewell to the old Qvillinge parish, where we together have had so many experiences – both happy and sad moments. Forever they bid farewell to the places that have seen us grow up. No more Sundays will I travel the old, familiar road; never will I expectantly gaze up at Smältgrind and there notice the old, familiar carriage that for 14 years, every other Sunday, turned by Aspdungen and, with its dear content, stopped at Loddby. There is no one left to entrust one’s sorrows and joy to, no one to communicate with. Here will be so empty, so lonely that I don’t even want to think about it, because then I might be ungrateful enough to complain about Providence which, nevertheless, certainly prevails for the sake of good.
Loddby, 20 December 1850
The family Hjort has left. Krusenhof stands empty, and I felt empty, very empty, when I bade the dear friends my farewell. It is as if death has robbed me of a loved one, and the very memory of the 15 happy years we have lived here together is painful, as it only serves to increase my bitter regret. It is so strange to think that yonder, in my second home where I dreamed so many happy childhood dreams, now other indifferent and unknown people will live and think, treading the “happy fields, where I walked so many times,” and suffer and rejoice in the same places that so often saw our tears and laughter. It is so empty and strange to not be able to travel there and hear some kind words from dear, familiar lips.
Oh! Everything is difficult, everything changes on the earth where we live. Both joy and sorrow accompany us through life and are alternately our guests but, perhaps, the latter is the most faithful, the least erratic, the one we know best, and the one that most often visit us; that is likely how it has to be.
